Forget tiger mums, what about the wolf dads!

The more parental resources thrown at a child the better

You have spotted them on the sports pitch. The dad kicking the imaginary ball, living vicariously through every move of his child’s game. Well, concealed within the confines of home, is a more studious, intellectual, though still sporty, and yet equally empathetic type of father.

The wolf dad. The following image was conjured up by ChatGPT:

Imagine a sleek, muscular wolf with sharp, focused eyes, standing tall and poised, giving off an air of intelligence and determination. Its fur is dark and well-groomed, symbolising strength and attention to detail. This wolf could be imagined sitting by a forest’s edge, reading ancient scrolls or studying the movements of its surroundings with great precision. Its posture is disciplined, every action calculated, reflecting a deep curiosity and a constant quest for knowledge. This combination of physical power and mental sharpness makes it both masculine and studious, embodying wisdom alongside strength.

Yes, this type of dad exists, and you run into them at elite schools. They may have high flying jobs, but they are equally focused upon the development of their children.

The point is that educating children for elite schools is a team sport. The tiger mum gets an unfair amount of focus and criticism, for there is without a doubt a wolf dad archetype that is visible at top schools.

And the reason for this is obvious. There is a need to recognise causation versus correlation.

It is not that children at top schools happen to have parents that are both focused on academic success. It is that parents with such focus are disproportionately likely to have kids who are academically successful.

Why is that?

Well it is quite simple. Assuming that nurture matters over nature (i.e. your child isn’t genetically predisposed to being a genius - sorry but it is unlikely), then it is a question of focus.

Simply put, a child's brain is a neural network. When they ask the question ‘why’, which they frequently do, the more fully fledged and complete the response, the more it helps them build a consistent view of the world. Having access to parental resources that do that matters.

The ability to consistently do that is boosted materially by having access to both parents. Further, fathers can bring a different dimension to learning - they may be more likely to have an interest in certain topics, which their mother does not focus on. Mums may be on top of their science, whilst dads know their history - or vice versa.

Finally, it is simply a function of having two pairs of hands in dealing with academia. One parent is plainly half the resources of two parents. Today with access to the internet, any willing parent can become a dutiful teacher of their child, and having two willing to undertake those tasks is better than one. This doubling of capacity, in tandem with online resources, goes a long way.

Anecdotal evidence

Given the degree of opacity around this issue it is difficult to demonstrate. However, our experience of this comes from our parent networks and those of our friends. There is an undeniable correlation on parental chats, and across different schools, and cohorts, between highly academically performing schools and the degree of involvement by both parents.

Of course some parents augment the process with tutors. How a parent utilises tutors is important. Outsourcing entirely likely won’t work. A tutor is often a specialist in their subject, but won’t be focused exclusively on the progress of your child. Utilising tutors to buy time and knowledge works, whilst completely outsourcing responsibility does not - i.e. don’t expect to just pay for a stable of tutors and get results: parents have to be involved.

Most kids aren’t born geniuses. Those are rare indeed - one in a million or a billion - for most kids, the question is how they are nurtured, and the degree of resources they have access to - and of those the most valuable are their parents’ time.